At six feet, three inches, people make some assumptions about me. Let me clear out a few of them.
1. I never played basketball. In fact the only sport I played as a kid was baseball, and I hated it (though I'm glad I tried it out so I know I hated it and don't have to wonder if I would have liked it). A lot of people ask me at some point if I ever played basketball, I guess because I'm tall. You should know that the regulation height for a basketball hoop is ten feet, so that still leaves three feet and nine inches of separation between me and the basket and the top of my head. I'm not all that coordinated, and without coordination, you can't play basketball. Not well, anyway.
2. I don't notice the rain falling any faster than anyone else. At the speed of rain falling compared to the time it takes a human brain to realize it just got rained on to telling the lips to say, "It's raining!", you've already got hit by the liquid projectiles. If you're eleven inches shorter than me (such as my wife), I'm not going to have the time to say "Quick, dodge the flying molecules of death!" before they start hitting you.
3. Yeah, I can reach things on high shelves. I don't even mind doing it. What I mind are the people that don't know my name, or that would never speak to me otherwise, saying, "Hey, you're tall. Can you help me with this?" First, it's like they have to remind me of my height as a way to convince me to help. I know I'm tall, it's not a revelation to me. The bumps I get from low basements remind me of the fact. Second, I'm going to help you, whether I want to or not. It's not like I'm going to be a jerk and say, "Find a step stool, midget." I'm going to help, I'm usually a pretty decent guy. So, sure, I'll help. Just ask. It's not like you have to convince me to do it.
I do have a little fun with my height, though. When I sit at my desk, I slouch. It's not simply a lazy thing, it's the fact that workstations aren't generally designed for tall people. I lower my seat all the way and my knees still bang the keyboard. I slouch back and it makes it a little easier. My last job people would call me on it and give me a little crap. Then I found an article saying that the slightly reclined sitting position is the best posture for work. My supervisor was amused. At one point I told her supervisor that if I ever decided that the workstation was too low for me and was causing me pain, they would have to make accomodations for me. She just laughed, and not in a nice way.
But anyway, the fun part is when I'm slouched people don't really think about it. Then, when I stand up, there's eyes go up. They don't expect me to be that tall. That's fun.
The Epic Matt Blog
4 comments:
Matt is very good at getting my favorite rolling pin down from the top shelf in the cabnet above the stove. If you are good friends with Matt and need his height help, he will help you but it will cost. He likes to make fun of people eleven inches shorter than him (I don't feel short but you make me sound that way with the eleven inches thing)
I love that you are tall Matt! Its very helpful for your friends! Can't wait to see you soon!
Yeah, I've gotten pretty good at climbing on the counter in order to get things on the top shelf. It's a true talent of mine. I like your midget comment. I triple dog dare you to say that to a really mean short person someday. You know they are out there and they are soooo jealous of you too!!
People use to ask me a lot if I played basketball in high school and even up into my college years. No so much any more. I would reply with a, "No I do not. You have to have skill to play basketball, and I, my friend, have NO skill."
Post a Comment