Something I'm very passionate about

In the charged climate our nation finds itself in, there are issues that place brother against sister, husband against wife, children against parent.

There are those that say we should just deal with it.

There are those who advocate compromise.

Some say it will save the world.

Others would sell their soul because of it.

Me? I say it's all a load of crap. What am I talking about? Exactly that. Crap.


Or, to be more specific, toilet paper. So, I was at church today, and I noticed that the toilet paper had an odd quality, one that I'm not very used to and one that I don't appreciate. What quality was this? Rigidity. I'm not entirely convinced that's a word, but spell check isn't underlining it, so it must be okay.

You see, a lot of public places stock sub-par products in their restrooms. The church is no exception. In fact, I think the church's toilet paper is some of the worst. Now, being the industrious little bees they are, they probably make their own toilet paper. They probably make it from wood grown in a forest they own. It's probably made from oak, one of the hardest and heaviest woods out there.

It reminds me of when I was growing up. My mother always bought the Scott Tissue. Scott Tissue is the cheapest store-bought paper out there. And it's almost as stiff as church paper. I remember wishing that we could get the softer variety, I remember seeing that Charmin was only ten cents more expensive for a four-pack. Why oh why did my mother insist on the sandpaper?

But I complain too much, for I am a man, and man must only use toilet paper once or twice a day. Women have to use it much more. Every. Single. Time.

So, my hat is off to women who endure so much with so little complaint. And I urge any men within the sound of this blog to buy the more expensive toilet paper. You'll have a happier wife.