Roxy: The Killer Guard Dog

This morning, at about quarter to five, our dog, Roxy, starts barking. Loudly. Without stopping. This rarely happens, and it never happens overnight. As soon as I wake up my first thought is: there's someone in the house. So I get up to go check it out, like the good husband/father I am. I first notice that our porch light is on. The motion detecting porch light. The motion detecting porch light that doesn't detect squirrels or cats.

Okay, I should take this time to say that our front door isn't the most secure. It's old with a large pane of glass making up most of the door. One of those panes of glass that is completely see-through and whose glass is so old that it's starting to warp.

Now, we keep a curtain covering our door and the windows, but there's still plenty of cracks around the curtains too see out, and conversely, in. So I first check out the side window to see if I can detect anything (because why would I start off by exposing myself at the front door where anyone can see/shoot me?). I see nothing, so I check the window that looks out front (and onto the porch, kind of like Mr. Rogers). There's a car parked behind mine with its headlights on. I don't like people parking on our property, but that's another story.

So, last, I check the front door, feeling fairly confident that no one is at the door. The car behind mine moves and goes to our new ghetto-fied neighbors. Our neighbors were having company show up at 4:45 in the morning and apparently came to the wrong door, turning our motion sensor light on and upsetting our dog. Now my fear has turned to annoyance. I try, as a neighbor, to leave my neighbors the heck alone. As far as I'm concerned, they shouldn't even have to know I'm there half the time. I dislike our new neighbors and their curious nighttime habits.

But I'm glad to know Roxy is a good guard dog. Anyone want her?