I Need to be Nicer

I've realized that I'm not always nice. That's not to say I'm intentionally rude to people, I'm just sometimes a bit crass (ooh, good word). Often enough, I don't even verbalize my feelings, I just think them. And that's even better, because then those thoughts fester and put me in a sour mood or keep me from sleeping well. For example, we recently had a new neighbor move in. On move in day people kept parking in front of my house. For those of you who don't know, we have one long driveway, suitable for one car, that leads down to the garage (which isn't really used for a car). On the other side of the house is a short driveway that Emily usually parks in. Between those is a longer slab of drive-type material that sits off the street. Yes, it connects to the street, but it is not the street (it's a shade darker). I often park up there, and when the weather is bad we both park up there because the other driveways are at a down angle and the cars don't back up well in ice/sleet/snow/etc.

These neighbors, on move in day, parked a big truck across the front drive that is off street. This upset me, but I said nothing. Then, the owner of said big truck knocked on my door and asked if he could park another truck in Emily's spot (she was working in the Family History Center). I told him he's already taking one of my spots (I didn't mention that he did so without asking) and if he takes yet another, my wife will have no where to park. He ended up moving his truck from in front of the house and didn't park in my wife's spot. I was a little happier.

A few days later, after the parking fiasco had subsided, some guy (that is attached to our new neighbor in some way) parks some old ghetto Camaro in front of our house. I was so upset and let the anger build up so much (all the more because I kept going to the window in the middle of the night to see if it was still there) that I could not sleep. My mind kept leading me to fun and violent scenarios where I forcibly moved the car, forced the owner to move the car, or forcibly moved the owner. I even realized that these harsh thoughts were not good for me and were keeping me from sleeping, but I couldn't get rid of them.

Since then, they've kept out of our spots (mostly, I think, from me parking across the front spot as a gentle hint that it's mine) yet I realized that it wasn't a big deal, and why am I hurting myself like this because of it?

I think the issue comes down to the fact that I'm not always nice, or that I harbor ill thoughts about people when I should just let it go. I realize Nephi said he had issues with getting mad at people, and if a prophet struggled with it, I guess I'm not alone.

So I need to let virtue garner my thoughts. I need to see the good in people. And I need to verbalize (or type) these things. A bishop of mine once said "It is important to say the things that lift people up". I've never forgotten it. I even gave a training on my mission about this. I had some missionaries in my district that I didn't get along with very well, but I decided I needed to find one good thing to say about each of them, and then say it. I was surprised at how easy it was to find something to say to each of them.

Now, something else I've realized is that stupid comes in all shapes in size. Someone will irritate me on the road and I'll think "Stupid old people" or "stupid young people" or "stupid woman" or "stupid (insert racial class)". I try to say to myself "it's not because they're young, old, a woman, a man, a (insert racial class), it's simply because they're stupid. And haven't I done stupid things? So I need to let it slide off and just move on. One little thing can ruin a day, and sometimes I wonder how hard Satan has to work to keep people mad at each other.

So, in keeping with the adage of saying the things that lift people up, I wanted to say at least one nice thing about each person that I blog with.

Emily: She is encouraging when it comes to my ideas. She wants me to go to school and persue a (real) career, but she never guilt-trips me. When I tell her I have a new idea, she tells me it's a good idea, even if she secretly thinks it isn't. She trusts me. She's there to comfort me when I need it.

Alison: She has the kind of attitude I like in a friend. She's the right kind of cynical and her blogs make me laugh.

Rhia: Her hair looks good short. She has a fun personality and seems to be the kind of person that's a good friend. She keeps in touch with people (like Emily) that she hasn't seen in years and allows us to remain long-distance friends.

Kathryn: She is the best kind of friend because she'll stick by you even when you're an idiot and slightly self-destructive. She's funny and genuinely cares about people.

Okay, I'm going to go now. Happy Easter!