That title probably sounds more ominous than intended :)
I get depressed sometimes. I get lonely, and just need a hug. Unfortunately, with my work schedule and Emily's school schedule, that sometimes doesn't happen.
I seriously plan to adopt. If things go well in the next few years, we'll be blessed with the ability to have more kids, and there are a lot out there that need help. I heard a statistic once, though I don't know if it was accurate or not, it was interesting. It said that if just one member of each congregation of all the churches in the US would adopt one child, there would be no adoption problem in this country. When it comes to social issues, I believe most adults should do what is necessary to support themselves, but children don't have that ability. If I can give a good, loving home to one or two children that are without, then I think I can say I've made a good difference in this world.
Despite my love of reading, I'm a little slow at it. That doesn't mean I'm slow or that I have any comprehension issues (I was actually ahead for my reading level at school), I think it's just another OCD issue. I find myself stopping to count words or letters.
Sometimes I feel guilty about my mission. Emily asks why I don't tell mission stories. One reason is you really need another missionary to tell them. It's just one of those things. Another is my guilt. I didn't commit any big sins, I just didn't keep all the mission rules with exactness. In the MTC they hammer into you the need to keep all the rules 100% of the time, which is impossible. So then you're set with this impossible standard and get to have the guilt when you inevitably break a rule or fall short of one. But I do believe in repentence. When I say I wasn't perfect, again, I didn't go around flaunting the rules. I just wasn't perfect. Sometimes I listened to the radio in the car. I had a hard time getting up in the morning. But I do feel good in the fact that one of the things I excelled at (at the risk of boasting) was I truly cared for everyone I taught. I really wanted to help people and I worked hard to do that. When I was a district leader, I rarely talked about the 'numbers' of things. I tried to focus on the people and how we could help the individual. And I think that's something that's lacking in this country is that we don't care much about the individual, and that's the one thing we need to do to improve things. When people have hope and direction, they can make something of themselves.
Okay, a little lighter now.
I want to travel Europe. There is so much beauty and antiquity and history that I want to see and learn and experience. My tops are England (London, Liverpool, and the countryside) and Italy (including the Vatican City).
I want to learn how to paint. Artistically. I hate painting walls. But I think it would be fun to take the time to learn how to paint scenes, landscapes, portraits, and the like.
I would like to be a punk/rock singer/songwriter and I don't think I wouldn't be terrible. I think some of the weird/random things I come up with would work well.
I'm verbally dyslexic. I know what I want to say, but sometimes a few words come out in the wrong order. I used to fluster and fumble and try to correct myself, now I just let it be and hope people think its one of the things that make me interesting.
I want to serve a senior mission. Or two. Or three. But I never want to be a Mission President. I remember those old couples serving in my mission and I just thought it would be fun to be them, to be around the young missionaries again, realizing they're not perfect, but being surprised by how wonderful they can be. I remember when I was a district leader (which isn't boasting, in my mission most Elders got a shot at leadership as long as they weren't terrible) I would see the missionaries I was responsible for and I could catch a glimpse at their spirit, of who they really were, and what they could be. I would work so hard to try to bring that out in them and try to convince them of what I saw. I think that was one of the best parts of my mission, and I'd like to be in that position again.
That's all I can come up with for now, but I'm sure there are more.
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6 comments:
I feel like I'm a slow reader too, and I'm an English teacher! :) I also want to go to Italy. sigh. Europe. The mission is a great thing, even if you weren't perfect or if you had to go home early for medical reasons. *ahem* Alison *ahem*. We learned what we needed too, right? So, it's time to move on. Ha! Easier said than done. :S
I am sure you were a GREAT missionary. Don't beat yourself up. I think you are awesome!
Dude, I don't think I would know anything about you if you didn't write on your blog. I didn't know you wanted to paint and be a punk singer. Cool. Can we take a painting class together later? That would be fun. I'm sure you will be better at it than I will be but it can be one of those things we do together as we age. I love you.
I have a friend come home with a medical release. At the singles' girls would ask him how old he was. When he'd say 20, a lot would assume he either didn't go or was sent home.
Yeah, this is the reason I don't speak much of the mission to people that I don't know very well. I just don't want to deal with the nosy questions they don't really want to know the answer to (they're just asking because they feel like they have to). It's all good though. I know it was what was suppose to happen, even though I wished I could've stayed.
If you want to be a rock star, I highly suggest you spend some time playing Guitar Hero and/or Rock Band.
I went to Italy a few years back. My old roommie Janette and I went for her 30th birthday (ok, that wasn't the reason, but it was around her 30th, so sometimes we say it was her 30th b-day trip). When my 30th came up, she suggested we go to Louisiana. I vetoed that pretty quick and when she asked me where I wanted to go, I said London. It almost happened but then she got married. Guess where she went on her honeymoon? London. I razz her about it all the time yet she feels no remorse. Do you guys feel sorry for me yet? Anyone? Anyone?
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